So you Think you can be a Warrior
by Rainpelt of Hurricane Clan
Summary: This is a reality show, featuring warrior cats judging twolegs on how they preform as warriors. This is a humorous mash-up of all your favorite reality shows, run by cats. This is my first posting, so enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

Season 1 episode 1

Game show: "So you think you can be a warrior?"

Judges:

Foxfur – flame furred tom with long snout like a fox, team: not yet established

Swiftbreeze – lithe brown she cat, team: not yet established

Cloudwisp – skinny white she cat with gray wisps, team: not yet established

Earthpelt – broad shouldered brown tom, team: not yet established

Foxfur – "Welcome to *So you Think you can be Warrior* the show that could be illegal, where twolegs who think they are better than us, compete at warrior skills to win *snickers* "fabulous" prizes.

Swiftbreeze – "What! This isn't legal!"

Earthpelt – "More importantly, I was supposed to lead off the show! This is an outrage!"

*Swiftbreeze and Earthpelt jump on Foxfur in a screeching mass of fur and claws*

Cloudwisp - *padding in front of the quarreling cats* While these fur balls fight about nothing, I would like to introduce you to the contestants who were chosen by us shallow judges. If you don't believe how shallow we are, watch this." *gestures with her tail to a monitor in the corner of the studio*

*Screen features the judges behind a fallen tree acting as a judge's panel watching twolegs at the auditions.*

Earthpelt - *random twoleg walks onto stage* "I hate him, he's ugly, NEXT."

Cloudwisp – "Earthpelt, could you at least wait until we can properly judge the twoleg next time.

Earthpelt – "I know I should, but he was just rubbing my fur the wrong way!"

Foxfur – "By walking on stage? I can't believe you even got this judge position."

Swiftbreeze – "No need to be so harsh Foxfur, but he's right Earthpelt, how did you get on this show."

Earthpelt – "I bribed the executive producer."

*Other judges sigh at this reply as another twoleg walks onstage*

Cloudwisp – "Great starclan, this girl is so cute. *to the girl* You're advancing on my team, Congradulations!"

*Girl walks of stage screeching with excitement*

Earthpelt – "Really, that's how you choose twolegs."

Foxfur – "If you choose everyone like that, you apprentice twolegs are going to lose for sure."

Swiftbreeze – "Plus, that girl wasn't even that cute; her top did not match her hair."

*All judges stare at Swiftbreeze*

Swiftbreeze – "Did I just say that out loud?"

*Judge panel nods in a shocked silence*

Swiftbreeze – "ooohhhhhhh."

*awkward silence for a couple more seconds broken by another twoleg entering the room*

Foxfur – "Hello, why do you think you can be a…"

Swiftbreeze – "I hate its shirt! This twoleg is a loser!"

Random twoleg – "WHAT, you're just stupid cat! I don't deserve this; my shirt is just solid white!"

Foxfur – "You can't talk to her like that! You piece of fox dung!#!$!#$!#$"

*He goes on ranting for a bit longer*

Cloudwisp – "Calm down you stupid fur ball, and just push that colorful blinking button." *tilts head toward a button at the edge of the judges panel*

Foxfur – "Oooo colorful. *pounces on button* Now what does that do Cloudwisp?"

Cloudwisp – "You'll see."

Earthpelt –"I believe that is the…"

*everybody's attention is distracted by the screaming twoleg who just fell through a trap door*

Earthpelt – "…. pitfall, button."

Swiftbreeze – "Wow, that drop was at least 3 seconds deep."

Foxfur – *sighs* "I feel better, did the twoleg offend you too much Swiftbreeze?"

Swiftbreeze – "Nope, I'm good."

*monitor fades to black*

Cloudwisp – "I hope you enjoyed that little bit of our qualifying rounds!"

*The other three cats are lying on the ground panting, Foxfur is now just a slightly darker shade of orange fur, with clumps missing on his pelt and a tear in his ear. Swiftbreeze has a scratch above her eye, and a few on her shoulders. Earthpelt has some hair missing on his tail and is missing a claw on his front left pad.*

Cloudwisp – *glancing behind her* "Whoa, are you guys okay?"

Earthpelt – "What did I miss?"

Foxfur – "oohhhhhh"

Swiftbreeze – "Wasn't Foxfur's pelt a lighter orange before?"

Cloudwisp – "Come on guys, get up, you already missed most of the show. At least introduce your team."

Foxfur – "oohhhhhh"

Earthpelt – "Errr I guess we got a little carried away on the little red dude."

Swiftbreeze – "Yah, and I guess all he meant was we hadn't been rated as legal or not by the CAT (Cat's Association of Television) yet.

Foxfur – "ooowwwwwwww!"

Cloudwisp – "Well, I guess he'll just have to announce his team last. Earthpelt, would you do the honors?"

Earthpelt – "Certainly, and I believe we will be addressing them as apprentice names right?"

Swiftbreeze – "Of course."

Foxfur – "ohhh"

Cloudwisp – "Thank you for that input Foxfur…. Mouse dung, you guys were harsh on him."

Earthpelt – "Umm yeah. Time to announce the teams, My team consists of:

*twolegs are walking across a stage as he announces them*

The she twoleg with fluffy brown hair (off in the distance the twoleg yells, clearly insulted) is Cottenpaw.

The tom with dark hair is Boulderpaw.

Finally, the beefy tom with no hair is Smoothpaw."

Cloudwisp – "My turn, the tom with only a bit of brown hair, is Patchpaw

The she twoleg with blond hair and blue eyes is Goldenpaw

The tom with reddish brown hair is Russetpaw."

Swiftbreeze – "I guess I'm next.

The skinny she twoleg with brown hair is Gorsepaw

The red haired tom is Sunpaw

The blond she twoleg is Petalpaw."

Foxfur – "owww."

Cloudwisp – "Great starclan, this could be a problem."

Foxfur – "I can do this. *moans quietly to himself*

The she twoleg with red hair is angerpaw

The tom with *owwww* spiky brown hair is painpaw

The tom with salt and pepper hair is *ooaahhh* revengepaw"

*Foxfur collapses in pain and groans pitifully*

Earthpelt – "Nice names…."

Swiftbreeze – "Is this going to be a problem for us later?"

Cloudwisp - *padding to the front of the group* "As a result of the past … complications, that's all the time we have for this week. Join us next week for the start of the challenge portion of *So you Think you can be a Warrior*!"

_~~~Show stops broadcasting~~~_


	2. Chapter 2

Season 1 episode 2

Game show: "So you think you can be a warrior?"

Judges:

Foxfur – flame furred tom with long snout like a fox (currently covered with cobwebs and dock juice as a result of recent episode), team: Angerpaw, Painpaw, Revengepaw

Swiftbreeze – lithe brown she cat, team: Gorsepaw, Sunpaw, Petalpaw

Cloudwisp – skinny white she cat with gray wisps, team: Patchpaw, Goldenpaw, Russetpaw

Earthpelt – broad shouldered brown tom, team: Cottenpaw, Boulderpaw, Smoothpaw

Cloudwisp – "Welcome to *So you Think you can be a Warrior*, The reality show that officialy qualifies as legal, where twolegs compete for the ultimate prize."

Earthpelt – "Whoa whoa whoa! Did this really just happen again, I still need MY turn to lead the show off!"

Swiftbreeze – "Cool it Earthpelt, remember what happened last time. *gestures toward Foxfur who is still nursing last week's wounds*"

Foxfur – "Owwww?"

Earthpelt – *clearly restraining himself* "Well you can't argue with that reasoning huh Foxfur?"

Cloudwisp – "You have Foxfur's old slot next week Earthpelt, remember?"

Earthpelt – "Ohhh… yeah, I had forgotten."

Swiftbreeze – *to herself* "Clearly…."

Foxfur – *moaning quietly as he stands up* "Now it's time to *ouch* get on to the main event"

Earthpelt – "The first round, is a mentor's choice, now onto Swiftbreeze with more details."

Swiftbreeze – "The apprentices will be each competing at 3 events, hunting, tracking, and fighting. The mentors, as Earthpelt said, will be choosing 2 of their apprentices to move on, to the quarter finals."

Cloudwisp – "Now for the first event, hunting. All the apprentices will be released into an area at the center of different hunting territories, where the judges will observe their skill.

*The twolegs walk down a set of stairs into the said territory*

Foxfur – "Now, this lot of ….. I'm going to call them twole-prentices, will be humiliating themselves, trying to do things like chasing rabbits that they have no chance of catching."

Swiftbreeze – "No need to be so harsh on them Foxfur…."

Earthpelt – "I don't know Swiftbreeze, it's more than likely that they humiliate themselves."

Swiftbreeze – "Umm, yeah I guess you're right but…. Well, go back to cloudwisp."

Cloudwisp – *flicking her ears toward the surveillance screens, one for each territory* "Now remember, they get points deducted if they use anything other than themselves to catch the prey."

Swiftbreeze – "Keep in mind, we are watching the other videos at the same time, you will just only hear one mentor critiquing their …. How did Foxfur say it? Twole-prentices? Even though they are all happening at the same time.

*camera focuses entirely on the top left screen.*

Swiftbreeze – I'm up first, ooh looks like Petalpaw is going straight for the river. Gorsepaw is heading for the forest's, apparently deciding between the marsh and woodland area. Sunpaw seems to be going for the moorland.

*microphone shrieks*

Earthpelt – "Owww, why did that happen, I just wanted to see if I could comment with you."

Swiftbreeze – *holding her head* "I guess you can all comment along, just NEVER do that again!"

Foxfur – *gasping* "Great, I didn't think I could hold my breath any longer."

Cloudwisp – "Why, were you holding your breath mouse brain!"

Swiftbreeze – "Shhhh! We're missing the action!"

*other judges mumble an apology*

Swiftbreeze – "Hmmm, Petalpaw has just ungracefully fallen into the river, trying to spot some fish.

Cloudwisp – "She's not going to be catching many fish that way…"

Earthpelt – "Well look at Sunpaw, he's stumbling along trying to catch a rabbit."

Foxfur – "It's harder than it looks Earthpelt, I'd like to see you do it."

Swiftbreeze – "Well surprisingly, Gorsepaw seems to be prowling up on that mouse amazingly well. Oh no, it seems she was upwind and the mouse has scented her."

Cloudwisp – "It was an outstanding first attempt though."

Foxfur – *snickering* "Petalpaw is swimming after the fish, that's not going to work."

Swiftbreeze – "You know, it occurs to me that we could have at least briefed our apprentices on how to do this, besides them not being cats and therefore lacking all our awesome skills, they don't even know how to hunt!"

Cloudwisp – "Yep, that would have made more sense."

Earthpelt – "Wait! It seems Sunpaw has actually flushed a rabbit out of its hole, and he's getting closer to it."

Swiftbreeze – "What luck! It seems the rabbit has just slipped, and Sunpaw just pounced on it!"

Foxfur – "It's a shame he doesn't know what to do now, it looks like he's trying to choke it."

Swiftbreeze – "While we wait to see what Sunpaw can do with that rabbit, It seems Gorsepaw is taking another shot, this time at a starling."

Cloudwisp – *glancing at the sky* "It seems there's not much time left in the challenge, and Petalpaw has finally given up on the fish, but is wasting valuable time going to the marsh to try and catch something."

Swiftbreeze – "Wow! Gorsepaw has just raced up on the starling, and has jumped on it as it was flying away!

Earthpelt – "As all this has been happening, Sunpaw has actually broken the rabbit's neck on the tree, and seems unsure what to do with it.

Foxfur – "Not much time is left, and Petalpaw is yet to find a frog or the likes."

Swiftbreeze – "Gorsepaw, has just glanced up and has realized that she is almost out of time, and now it seems she is deciding what to do with her living prey.

Cloudwisp – "She better hurry, times almost ...!"

*Judges panel cheers wildly*

Foxfur – "Wow…. I'm shocked, and amazed!

Earthpelt – "I'm not sure anybody expected that!"

Swiftbreeze – "I just gained respect for twolegs, but what's even more surprising…. A twoleg just got a complement from Foxfur!"

Foxfur – "Although that was mean, I will admit, I'm even surprised I gave the twole-prentice a complement.

Cloudwisp – "Times, up! Now it's time for the final judging from Swiftbreeze."

Earthpelt – "This is a rating 1 – 15 based on overall performance in each event, the apprentice with the least points at the end of the final event, will be eliminated from the team.

Foxfur – "On to Swiftbreeze with the ratings."

Swiftbreeze – "Well, this is only the first event, and I want all my apprentices how proud I am of them and the way they hunted today. Even though one of you will be elimin….."

*Earthpelt interrupts Swiftbreeze*

Earthpelt – "Get on with It!" *glances around innocently*

Foxfur – First I have to say, there is no live audience Earthpelt you stupid fur ball, we all know you did that. Secondly, I have to agree, I'm half expecting you to get ready to say the judging, and then a commercial to come on. We don't need to do all this lead up, *you're all winners* speech!"

Cloudwisp – "We seem to be running out of time for a second round, thanks to those mouse brains. Swiftbreeze, please announce your judging.

Swiftbreeze – "Petalpaw, you showed great persistence with that fish, but in the end, you ran out of time traveling to the other hunting area, I give you, a 5. Sunpaw, you should be proud to be the first twoleg to catch and kill prey, but the rabbit did trip. It was as much luck as skill, so you get a 9.

*Dramatic pause*

Swiftbreeze – "And finally, Gorsepaw. You refused to give up in one hunting territory, and brought down you're prey with good technique. Where Sunpaw tried to choke his prey, you noticed you were almost out of time. Like a true warrior, you broke out of your comfort zone, and finished your prey with a killing bite. I am proud to be your mentor. 15!"

*audience cheers*

Earthpelt – "I thought we didn't have a live audience."

Foxfur – "Never mind that, Since your team critiqued today Swiftbreeze, you have the honors."

Earthpelt – "But wait, where did that cheer come from then.

Swiftbreeze – *Ignoring Earthpelt* "Thank you for watching this week's episode of *So you Think you can be a Warrior?*  See you next week for the second hunting round! Starclan go with you!

Earthpelt – "Nobody answered my question! I'm starting to really get…."

_~~~Show stops broadcasting~~~_


End file.
